Thoughts From A Long Run
A personal Essay
By Evy Barnett (she/Her)
A quote from Evy over a photo of Evy from early 2020.
Photo: Noah Devereaux
Quote Artwork: Caitlin-Marie Miner Ong
Reaching 2,000 members has made me reflect on my time in the club.
I was 22 and around the corner from graduating college. Knowing I’d have more free time, I wanted to reconnect to running. I had joined cross country in middle school and had been pretty casual about running. I always knew I liked something about it, the time to myself, the ability to be present, the opportunity to have a clear mind, maybe. I was never the fastest runner, and I knew that, but running was always something I could do for myself.
I searched “running clubs in Brooklyn” hoping to find some casual club where I could go maybe once a week and meet some new friends, nothing too intense or requiring much commitment. I messaged the club asking if I could come try a Saturday run, which turned out to be a 16 mile long run. I kept up for maybe a few miles before dropping out and heading back home. In those handful of miles, I realized I was definitely out of shape and wanted to come back. I returned a few weeks later for a New Member run, which I thought could be the perfect point of re-entry.
The summer went by and I tried a few more runs. I started coming to MTG (Marathon Training Group) because I heard I could attend without having any races planned. Once I started coming I began to recognize the regulars and got to know the people in my pace group. Eventually I started volunteering where I could, like at Cherry Tree and AGSS. I wanted to see my friends more, so I would run more. I was a regular member of the club!
The July 2019 New Member Run. Can you find Evy?
Photo by: Crystal Cun
In 2021, I fundraised for GallopNYC to run NYCM. In a meeting, they asked us how running and riding/horses were similar. I grew up as an equestrian, starting at 6 years old. You learn that horses can feel your heartbeat, where your eyes are looking, and how you are feeling. If you’re nervous, the horse will be, too. You also learn that you are a team and that you have to work together. I think I recreate this mindset when I run.
After the initial onset of the pandemic, I was very happy to return to regular runs in the fall of 2020. I also realized that I was waaayy more of an extrovert than I realized, I think that’s what caused me to want to become more involved. I joined the Diversity Committee to start, the Race Committee, and finally the Social Committee. Fast forward a little bit, I had become Social Committee Chair.
Evy’s first volunteer experience: handing out water at the 2020 Cherry Tree.
Photo by: Larry Sillen
I became more comfortable introducing myself, talking to new members, and answering questions about the club. I led runs and was excited to incorporate new ideas, like Bake-Offs, which evolved from Bake Swaps. I knew I wanted to encourage enthusiasm and most importantly let people know their idea can become real. I wanted to listen, I wanted people to feel like their ideas were heard. People’s energy changes when they become excited or passionate about what they are talking about, their eyes light up and their smile takes over their face. I always like it when people think big and my favorite thing to say is “what can we do to make that possible?” or “how can I support you?” I became more confident and discovered I had skills I didn’t know I had. I learned that I am also interested in the dynamics of people, hearing their stories, and getting to know them. When does someone feel confident? What will make them feel supported and loved?
I believe everyone needs more kindness, truly. I think my purpose on this silly little planet is to smile and bring love to people and to let them know that they are not alone. Life is already hard enough and I believe bringing good energy to the universe is the least I can do. I think it’s pretty universal to feel alone and sad, like you don’t fit in. However, I also believe that people naturally look for a community where they feel supported and appreciated, where they feel like their voice is heard.
Evy and member Athena volunteering at Cherry Tree in February 2020.
Photo by: Larry Sillen
People say they join the club to find community, running is merely an avenue to meet people. I know there was discussion if we, PPTC, were more than just a group of runners. We are. We are a group of people who like to run, but who also like to read, love their pets, and like to go to concerts. We are people who dream big, work hard, who like to challenge themselves. We’re definitely more than just “runners.”
I think of how much I hear that, “I joined to meet people,” especially recently. I’ve been looking at my friends recollecting the first time we met, some of our runs, or maybe the first time we hung out outside of running. I think of all the little moments that have contributed to our friendship: Late night shenanigans, early morning runs, cheering them on at the finish line, cowbell in hand. Last year, when things were incredibly difficult for me, it was incredible to receive support from our community. I was reminded by my friends, who have the runner mentality, that I just had to keep moving, you can’t see it now, but things will get better (and you will get faster).
When I felt like I couldn’t figure everything out and didn’t have any answers, when I kept facing rejection of sorts and fighting feelings of inadequacy, I put it into running. When I had to make goals for myself, I found that I relied heavily on the team aspect. I think it’s a default, I can always show up for someone else, but maybe not always for myself. While I’ll deal with that in therapy later, it helped having a community to show up for. Putting good energy into the world will make you feel better, always. No matter if it’s a tough workout or life experience.
Evy & other PPTC members at the Washington 5K in early March 2020.
Photo by: Larry Sillen
Now, since bouncing back, I noticed the energy I put into the world is different and I'm showing up as a better version of myself. I am able to relax a little bit, smile more, cry less, and I’ve begun thinking more extensively about how much I’ve grown since joining my local running club. It seems relatively small; running with some friends. It even occurred to me at Awards Night, nominating and celebrating made-up awards, that only exist in our world of this specific group of people who all happen to live around the same park in the same borough of New York, seems kinda silly.
Then, I zoom in and I think of how much it means to me, of how much of a sense of community it has provided for me and how much it has empowered me. I think of how much it means to other people, too. People tell me they’re coming back to running, running for their first time, reaching goals they never thought possible. I hear people talk about their lives, share their stories and experiences, what they are excited about in the future or what worries they may have. I think of all I’ve learned, life and running advice, all the book and music recommendations. I think of all the small moments I’ve shared with people and how much they’ve changed my life– and all of that doesn’t seem very silly or small to me.
Maybe it’s the romantic in me, or maybe I’m just sentimental, but in a small moment I found myself telling a friend the same piece of advice that was given to me when I ran my first half marathon. I paused and realized it was a full circle moment, my heart was racing but time seemed to stop. At that moment I was smiling, but I could have burst into happy tears.
Evy in 2023 finishing her first AGSS race.
Photo by: Stella Kim
People ask all the time, “How do you do this all? Why?” I try to say it often, but I could never say it enough, that this club has allowed me to grow and supported me in so many ways that other communities have failed me. I’ve truly been able to be myself without any limits and I could never reciprocate the amount of love and kindness I’ve received along the way. This doesn’t just apply to me, I know I can speak for a lot, if not all, members in leadership. They put in countless hours, tons of work, and still somehow manage to follow their training plans! They are always looking for solutions, hearing feedback, and finding ways to improve. To think this is all volunteer– it’s a true labor of love.
If you’ve read this far, you probably have already been bitten by the bug, but you’ll be ok. If you feel yourself gravitating towards becoming more involved, let it happen, because you never know, it may just change your life.
Written by: Evy Barnett
Photos by: As noted in captions; icon photo by Jiyoung Han
Produced by: Rachael DePalma (she/her)
PPTC is a diverse and supportive team. We want to celebrate the diversity of our club and membership. We welcome and encourage everyone to share their stories with us.