You're a Marathon Runner (and Always Will Be)
A Personal Essay
By Rachael DePalma (she/her)
Recently, I had to cover someone at work on top of my own job for a day. I joke complained to my boss about being exhausted. “Listen,” she said, “you’re a marathon runner, you’ll bounce back.”
I laughed. “I used to be. I could never do that now.”
“No, no, no. You’re a marathon runner and you always will be, even if there’s a time that you can no longer walk.”
This struck me for a couple reasons:
1) My boss is a marathon runner herself
2) The past three years I’ve had a fraught relationship with running and my body between a bout of long covid and an injury that kept me from walking for 5 weeks.
Rachael running the NYC marathon in 2019. Photo by Marissa DePalma
Despite where I am now and where I will be in the future – I am a marathon runner. That will remain unchanged. It’s a beautiful and weirdly comforting fact that I can claim for the rest of my life. Maybe it means so much because I’m unsure I’ll ever run that distance again.
This left me reflecting on the last marathon I ran, the 2019 NYC Marathon. As I thought back, I kept circling back to the idea of community, how PPTC guided me through.
PPTC’s Marathon Training Group was the breeding ground for this supportive and encouraging collective. Those friendships were cultivated from experiencing simultaneous pain, pushing each other, and having one another’s backs. They were unlike others I had. They were real and deep. We spilled secrets and worries to one another while the rest of the city slept and by 7:30 am, we felt lighter and ready for work. These friends carried me through months of training, the marathon, and beyond.
All of you who are running tomorrow (or who have run the marathon in the past) doubtless know what I mean.
Marathon runners in the 2021 NYC marathon. Photo by Alex Cohn
Three years ago, I was in your shoes (well, I really was in Brooks Adrenalines, but you know what I mean). I was preparing for the marathon and after months of training, I was finally at the expo. I picked up my bib, took advantage of free leg massages, and purchased logoed socks and gloves. The marathon finally felt real. I was a bundle of nerves and excitement. All the workouts and long runs and early mornings were finally reaching a culmination point.
I had heard time and time again that the NYC marathon was a “party” and the “most fun you could have while running a marathon,” but I was skeptical. My first marathon had me in a dark place mentally and physically at certain points and I was unsteady by the time I crossed the finish line. I knew I was more prepared this time around – I had better training and finally understood how to fuel. Regardless, this knowledge did little to quell my worries. I was anxious and ready for the marathon to be over, to get on with my life.
A PPTC runner is all smiles. Photo by Jiyoung Han
When Sunday, November 3rd finally arrived I almost missed the train to the ferry, and had to run to catch it, but everything else went off without a hitch. We got to our “village” in plenty of time and huddled in our warm up sweats and Dunkin hats with Honey Stinger waffles and hot water.
We ran in place, did some stretches, and hit up the porta potties. I would have preferred to pee one last time but was ushered out of the corral before I could. Fortunately, the sensation to relieve myself evaporated by the time I reached mile 5.
I started off much too fast, adrenaline and the poor GPS signal on the bridge spurred me to under 7-minute miles. Around mile 3, my race partner encouraged me to slow down as straying from our pace could be detrimental.
2021 PPTC Cheer Zone. Photo by Marek Stepniowski
The next few miles went smoothly, we didn’t talk much except to check in with one another and at mile 6, we both tore into our fuels. We reached the PPTC cheer zone shortly afterwards, which was a huge boost mentally and emotionally. Seeing the faces of our teammates stretched smiles across our faces. We enjoyed pretty consistent cheers through nearly the rest of Brooklyn. Between the two of us and our PPTC singlets people either called out our names or PPTC as we passed. Brooklyn knows how to bring the good time.
We rode that wave as long as we could, but as we approached Queens my running partner started experiencing unbearable stomach pain. Slowing down for the next few miles had little benefit and at mile 10, she told me to go ahead. I hesitantly did. I knew if the roles were reversed, I’d want her to continue and get the most out of her training, and that her staying behind with me would make me feel worse.
It's certainly not how I wanted the race to end, I had envisioned us finishing together hand in hand. I continued running for both of us - I wouldn’t have been able to complete such a hard training cycle without her level head, encouragement, and belief in me. I owed it to her to carry on.
Anh-Tuan Tran waving to PPTC while racing past. Photo by Andy Wong
I caught up to a couple PPTC members that I had never met on the Pulaski Bridge, just before the halfway point. We exchanged a few words, but didn’t wind up running together for long. Regardless, their presence made me feel connected, part of something larger than myself, more than an island.
On the Queensboro Bridge, I ran into another training partner. I called to him - our voices the only ones ringing out among the quiet meditative sound of footfalls.
Together, we ran off the Queensboro to be engulfed by cheers as we hurtled down First Ave between a tunnel of spectators, including our loved ones. He and his brother clapped each other’s backs while I teared up when I spotted my family and friends wearing grotesque orange shirts with my face on them.
My friend and I ran together for 5 miles. I wound up losing him on another bridge in the Bronx. I turned around and he was gone. I called his name a few times and then kept running. He had asked me to leave him earlier but I had wanted to get through at least mile 22 with him. Alas we only made it to mile 21.
Runners heading to the finish in last years NYC Marathon. Photo by Jiyoung Han
The final 5 miles were on my own. I kept busy by counting down the miles and reminding myself to keep going. At mile 24, I was struggling. My legs felt heavy and my mind was starting to issue a litany of negative thoughts. Fortunately, my cheer squad popped up again and got me through.
Rounding a bend to the finish, another PPTC member yelled out my name, which helped me fight the echoes in my head that said I had nothing left. I dug down and ran faster.
I crossed the finish with a 16-minute personal record and ebullience. The reason for my joy wasn’t solely due to my time, but rather the experience. I know my success was due in a large part to the community surrounding me.
Arielle Disick and Emily Funk at the PPTC Cheer Zone last year. Photo by Jiyoung Han
Running a marathon in the city I live in filled me with unmatched emotion, and a reminder of how incredible NYC and its people are. And yes, the NYC marathon is fun and does feel like a party -maybe a party with the most competitive yard games, but a party nonetheless.
Now, to all of you running tomorrow, I wish you all lots of joy. I’ll leave you with a few tips that you’ve probably already heard:
· Start off conservatively, you’ll thank yourself later on (especially with this heat!).
· Remember to take fuel and water consistently along your route, even if you don’t yet feel the hunger or thirst, this is key and makes an immense difference.
· Let the cheers and community carry you and push you forward.
· As hard as the run gets, remind yourself that you have trained for this. You are strong and resilient and have completed hard workouts and long runs in warmer weather. You all have finished the hardest part of running the marathon- the training.
· Go out there with confidence and I have faith that each one of you will crush it.
2021 PPTC Cheer Zone reminding you that “You’ve Got This!” Photo by Jiyoung Han
Finally, no matter how tomorrow goes (in my mind this applies even if you don’t finish as you’ve already put in all the time and training), you will all end the day as marathon runners. No one can ever take that away from you.
PPTC is a diverse and supportive team. We want to celebrate the diversity of our club and membership. We welcome and encourage everyone to share their stories with us.